DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT TRADITIONAL

By Maajiitaaziibiikwe, Mary Sam

“Our community still suffers from years and cycles of domestic violence. Many of us have experienced it, witnessed it and know of it. Sometimes the violence takes place in our homes, in community, and even within the workplace. I am committed to changing these cycles, investing in healing and speaking up. Silence has ruled our communities for too long,” said Chief Executive Virgil Wind.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Mille Lacs Band of Ojibwe Victim Services department is committed to helping break the cycles that continue to harm our community members. Misconceptions, blame, fear, and generational trauma help maintain the cycle of abuse. The data on domestic violence doesn’t tell the whole story, as people are often afraid to come forward. The National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center (NIWRC) reports:

• More than 4 in 5 Native women (84.3%) have experienced violence in their lifetime.

o Over 56% experienced sexual violence.

o Over 55% experienced physical violence by an intimate partner.

o Nearly 50% have experienced stalking. o Over 66% have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner.

• With over 500 recognized tribes, there are less than 50 Native domestic violence shelters across the nation.

According to data from the National Institute of Justice, a significant portion of Native men report experiencing domestic violence, with over 80% reporting some form of violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime, including physical, psychological aggression, sexual, and stalking aggression. Barriers in reporting for men are often due to the stigma and the lack of services for men.

Young and older LGBTQ2S relatives, describe feeling an additional stigma and barriers when looking for help. Family connections may be impaired and not safe, and the domestic abuser may exploit their partners identity base on isolation, threatening to ‘out’ them and further isolate them. The exploitation of LGBTQ2S youth is occurring in our community. Often rural communities do not have LGBTQ+ resources.

According to the Indian Health Service, as many as one in three Native Elders report experiencing physical and sexual maltreatment in the past year or neglect or financial abuse by a family member.

Mille Lacs Band Director of Victim Services Kristen Allord said the division is seeing an increase of reports by women, men, youth and elders. It is important to know this is happening to all genders, all ages. “We know that our LGBTQ2S relatives are not coming forward as often, but we are hearing concerns about increase in violence towards this population,” Allord said. Educating our community about the violence towards those who identify as two-spirt is needed.

Domestic assault awareness is key to supporting victims of domestic violence. The impact of violence is real and can last a lifetime and can include lingering fear of safety, physical injuries, missed work, loss of a job, impacting school success and the continued need for support, services, and healing. Breaking the cycles of historical violence is a generational community issue as one of our late Elders shared a few years back.

“What we see is what we learn. What we learn is how we behave. This results in addiction, womanizing, and for some, domestic and sexual violence. For me, there was no one to talk to about it, as most of us grew up in similar circumstances. This has been about silence, fear, isolation, shame, loyalty and power. Coming from a background like many of the men in my generation, having battered in my much younger years, I am very sad to say I have been a part of these problems. Falling back on the notion that I did not know better is not acceptable.” The late Elder and Mille Lacs Band Justice, David ‘Amik’ Sam ‘Invisibility in the Silence of Grief, Loss and Rage' story, in the Minnesota Women’s Press.

Upcoming awareness events include a ‘Walk in Their Mocs’ event planned for October 18, 2024. Look for details on social media. This event hopes to create more awareness of the impact of violence and what our relatives go through to begin the healing process. Allord explained a need to help reduce the stigma of coming forward to encourage those affected by violence, and remind the community there is no shame in reaching out for help. “It takes a lot of courage to ask for help,” Allord said. “Seeking help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Reaching out is a part of breaking the cycle.”

Often in close-knit communities, relatives are reluctant to come forward. People are afraid of being judged, shamed or ostracized. Reminding one another that there is strength in unity and there is peace in community is a shared value within Victim Services.

“Violence ends where respect begins, and healing begins when we stand together with courage,” Allord said. “Through empathy and compassion for victims, and with accountability for offenders, we can break the cycle of harm. Everyone must have access to the resources they need for change. It takes consistent and stronghearted advocacy to create change.”

For assistance please call Mille Lacs Band Victim Services Programs: Elder Abuse: 320-630-7666 Sexual Assault: 320-630-3853 Victims of Crime: 320-364-3568 Safe Harbor: 320-532-7793 Child Advocacy Center will be opening soon Women’s Shelter: 866-867-4006 Domestic Abuse Transformation Program for offenders: 320-532-7793 LGBTQ2S: 320-532-7793