Wiidigendiwin - Traditional Ojibwe Marriage
by DIBIKWE – Valerie Harrington
Wiidigendiwin is a marriage or a wedding in Ojibwe. A wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriage. Marriage ceremonies are common across cultures for multiple reasons. First, marriage is an important emotional and social transition for the bride and groom, and participation of family and friends in the process can be a major source of emotional support. Second, marriage usually marks a dramatic change in social status for individual newlyweds.
There are many Ojibwe customs and cultural ways of performing a marriage that I learned from watching YouTube videos and reading many articles and papers. There are big drum marriage ceremonies that included songs specific for Mide ceremonies where the man and woman would be on opposite ends of a dance arena and dance toward each other. The one I recently learned about was an Ojibwe tradition long ago included that when an Ojibwe man decides that he really loves a woman and would like to take her hand in marriage, he must hunt and kill an animal then bring it to the family of the woman he is trying to pursue. This gesture acts as a symbolic offering to show the woman's family he can provide for a family of his own. There are many traditions long ago based on economic stability and whether the man could provide for the family and the decision lied in the hands of the woman’s family. Once decided the family would then decide where the ceremony would take place based on the location of the man’s tribe and the woman’s tribe. Long ago you were not meant to marry in your own tribe, so they would have to decide which tribe the couple would join. It would be based on climate. A man would be ready to marry after he has his first vision quest and a woman would be ready after her first moon cycle.
Before the wedding, the couple would select four sponsors that had to be elders. These sponsors would commit to helping the couple throughout their marriage with advice, counsel and wisdom. During the morning of the wedding the bride would bathe in the lake or river which is symbolic of a mother earth blessing. The wedding ceremony would last three days with each day representing either feasting, visiting, and giveaway. Feasting would include preparing of traditional foods blessed and spoken for by the elder sponsors. All the food had to be eaten or given to the elder sponsors. Visiting included the couple visiting with each side of the family to receive blessings from both sides. The giveaway is where the bride is given away to the groom and the newlywed couple would join the tribe they selected. The ceremony would take place typically below an arbor or arch.
For women traditional wedding attire included a white dress and white moccasins made from deer or elk skins and would be designed/created by the bride herself. For men, attire included black pants, a ribbon shirt and moccasins. The bride and groom will make or buy lots of gifts, as a gift must be given to each wedding guest at the final giveaway ceremony. The officiant of the wedding is called a pipe carrier. He allows the couple to each make a declaration of love. The couple take seven clock- wise steps together, saying a vow with each step. The pipe carrier will then light a pipe of tobacco for the couple to smoke, sending their love to the creator and officiating the marriage. The couple will then each take up a blue blanket, representing their old lives, and be followed by their relatives to the fire circle. The fire circle is prepared with seven different types of wood burning into one single fire representing the unification of the couple and their families. The couple will toss the blue blankets into the circle of fire while their relatives shroud a single white blanket upon them. This blanket represents their new lives together; love; happiness; fulfillment and peace. In a marriage, the man's major role is to provide a good livelihood for his new family. Rarely is love a key issue of the marriage, instead it is a relationship of survival and maintenance of life. The woman's life will now be mainly focused on the care of her family and the majority of her life will exist within the home's private sphere. Divorce is fairly uncommon in Ojibwe culture and was not permitted until the late 1450's. Divorce was permitted only for the man cheating or being disloyal to the woman in some way.
Modern influences have rendered a culture of male dominance and female inferiority which in some cases have diminished the complimentary relationship lifestyle. Modern times have also brought forth more recognition to individual achievement rather than team effort, giving the women more desire to move on to the public themselves. More modern influences have also come to diminish the concept of particular sex-roles, forcing women to adapt to new roles in society. While the women's main interest still seems to resonate within the family, they have found other ways to carry on their family duties while maintaining a more public life, such as having a career. Another factor was when the government plagued our Tribes and forced our people to reservations, burrowing our population. Many tribes were mixed together. Population decrease and joint tribes has resulted into many tribes now allowing inter-tribal/inter-reservation marriage. Putting these new factors in place has destroyed some Indigenous people's concept of marriage. As women no longer have to rely on a male counterpart for stability and can instead be a provider of their own, marriage seems to be viewed as more of an optional life choice instead.
With some of these past customs and traditions diminished yet also valued an Ojibwe Wiidigendiwin, still takes place today. I am honored and blessed to have been a part of my first Wiidigendiwin. It was an honor to be married by the Pipe Carrier/Spiritual Advisor Nazhike, who learned the ceremony from Dr. Anton Treuer. Although my husband didn’t have to bring an animal from a hunt we did as much preparation for the ceremony as we could. Modern influence allowed us to do things together and make wedding plans together. Thankfully you can marry from the same tribe today. We both honor our roles equally as man and woman. We honored the traditions of the wiidigendiwin.
We were honored to be married by Nazhike. He spoke ojibwe and translated each part for us. Even though I couldn’t understand entirely what he was speaking in Ojibwe, I could still feel strong emotions. This was the happiest and most exciting day ever. The first part of the ceremony he was speaking for our spirits and we fed each other. We also had an amazing opportunity to say loving words to each other which
Nazhike translated for us to the spirits. What hit me most is the speaking for our spirits and adjoining of our spirits to be recognized together. Nazhike asked the Creator and the spirits to give us support, watch over us, and have a long happy healthy life together. When the blanket was wrapped around us and the smoking of the pipe and feeding each other was done, rings were exchanged (modern influence), and the final translation was complete I could not stop crying and smiling. My spirit was happy. There were no nerves, only excitement and love surrounded by our family and friends. We were even blessed enough to have a spirit dish setting for our loved ones that have passed on and we wanted to honor them and remember them on our special day. I am very grateful for the elders that have kept our language and ceremonies alive for us. It is an honor to be married to my best friend by the pipe carrier, our brother, Nazhike and to have the support of our family, friends, and the Creator. Miigwech to all who supported our Wiidigendiwin and continue to support us. Miigwech Miskwaankwad Gaagige Igo giga-zaagi’in.
